A Goal a Minute (and a bit)

Question:
Would I want to be a Madron fan?


Answer:
No.


Question:
Did I know anything about a club called Madron before I caught sight of this story?


Answer:
No.


Well, on the 20th November 2010 possibly THE worst side non-league team from Cornwall was beaten 55-0 by league leaders (the league being Cornwall's Mining League Division 1) Llogan Reserves. Now, I'm sure that's more a rugby score.

Madron were left to play with 7 men and no recognized goalie as many of the 'team' had dropped out prior to the match. Lack of team spirit much?


Amazingly, Madron are not actually currently at the bottom of the table. EVEN with a goal difference of -203.

Katee.

Leapfrog Anyone?

We all know how much fun playing Leapfrog is... or not. But Emmanuel Eboue seems to have taken this theory to a WHOLE new level - he's playing by himself, claiming that 'it is part of his warm up routine'.

Katee.

MMMM. Danish Pastries.

Question:
What do I love more than Danish pastries?

Answer:
Danish football players.

Seeing as this is the last day of the group stages I thought that it was important to ensure that I include as many teams as possible before they leave the competition... :'(

So, below you will find the 5 hottest Danish players. :) :) :)

Number 5...

Martin Jorgensen.

Some what of an odd choice admittedly, but unfortunately I was only able to find four moderately fit Danish players... :/

Number 4...

Daniel Agger.

Definitely looks better in the flesh and is NOT photogenic, but ah well... he's not that bad.

Number 3...

Nicklas Bendtner.

Owner of the sharpest slope between hairline and eyebrow, Nicklas just has something above the other two... (Not much to compete with when one considers number five).

Number 2...

Thomas Sorensen.

Big fan.

Nummer et...  Danish for number one. :)

Simon Kjaer.

Two things to say about Simon...

• Pretty Boy - I almost cannot bare it... maybe Thomas Sorensen should be number one??
• SO Scandinavian looking it is almost ridiculous.

 

What do you think??

Is Simon Kjaer too pretty for your liking??

And is there ANYONE that I can put for number five instead of Martin Jorgensen??

Katee.

Scan that Man!!

So, it appears to be a well known fact that Michael Ballack looks a 'tad' like Matt Damon, but Ballack's new advert for L'Oreal seems to have taken this theory a step too far...

Katee.

It's All Gouda!

So, I thought it was time for a world cup crime update... And I thought that this one just about topped the bunch!

An Argentinian football fan called Ernesto Soldati stole a slice of Gouda from a supermarket in Pretoria. The master criminal saved a massive R12.99 in doing so – or he would have saved R12.99 if he had escaped capture. But alert security staff collared him and he ended up being hit with a R200 fine. I would say that that is some expensive cheese, but 200 South Afican Rand comes to about £17.81...


Charged with theft at a special World Cup court, Soldati claimed he was in the shop with friends who left him behind. Quite why that’s an excuse to steal cheese, I don’t know.

But, I guess it's all Gouda!!

Katee.

Hang On A Minute...

Does any one else see something wrong with the New York Post's headline?

Katee.

Bongo-Bongoland and the Former Soviet Republic of Bulimia...

The Daily Mail has never really been world renowned for it's 'understanding' of events and the world news, and this appears to have rubbed off on its readers. One reader appears to have very strong ideas on the world cup:

Katee.

Classic Embarrassment

Question:

Take three Brazilian world cup players, "Single Ladies" by Beyonce, and rip off the dance to it... What do you get? Embarresment

Answer:
This.

Katee.

Lionel Messi Snores Like A Wildebeest...

Well, sort of...

It seems that Lionel Messi has a big (or more precisely ‘loud’) problem if recent quotes made by his international room mate Juan Sebastian Veron are anything to go by.

When asked if there was any disharmony within the Argentinian World Cup camp this year, Veron told reporters that the only issue threatening to disrupt the peace was that of L’il Leo’s nocturnal sinus congestion.


Speaking to the Telegraph, Veron said;


“He’s a good room mate, a small problem is that he snores a lot, but that can be resolved with a pillow.”


Should the wee Barca man turn up face down in a river at any point during the next few weeks, the South African police force have now got a pretty solid suspect/motive to begin their investigations with.

Katee.

Just Didier It.

Question:

Is the Nike world cup advert the best football advert EVER?

Answer:
Yes, yes it is.

What do you think? Do you like it?

Katee.

You've Got To Learn The Lingo!

Being a girl and actually liking football genuinely shocks guys. Their jaws literally drop.
Being a girl and being able to understand the lingo of football genuinely shocks guys too. They literally have heart attacks.

So, the universal language of lads can seem pretty much like an alien speaking, particularly for the uninitiated.
Here are a few key phrases to help you make sense what the commentators are babbling on about:
'Holding up the ball' - We're not talking about tight boxers here, but a players ability to keep the ball and not lose it in a tackle, (tackle is not what you think either!)
'Nutmeg' - not the spice, but the move where one player kicks the ball between the legs of an opposing player.

'Tricky Brazilian' - This is not some painful grooming procedure, it's a skillful player from South America.

Once you've mastered the basics, try slotting something like the following into your conversation, "Let's hope Capello's insistence on a rigid 4-4-2 structure instead of a diamond formation doesn't limit our central attacking options. I'd have gone with the 4-5-1." (This means how the manager, Fabio Capello, has decided to play the team, with so many at the front, in the middle and at the back of the pitch.)

Katee.

Germany Sign South Park For World Cup Song

My first ever post on this blog was based on the fact that England have no official song for the world cup - very sad. So the Germans have taken my view that the world cup song is a CRUCIAL part of the world cup campaign and have come up with an official world cup song, and although I'm not a fan of Germany when it comes to matches against England, when South Park works their magic they become irresistible and I find myself singing/humming this to myself over and over and over again.
So, go on, indulge. I even managed to find one with English subtitles... I didn't understand very much of the first one I found...

Katee.

Great Footballing Lookalikes...

So, I thought I'd let myself again get a little sidetracked from the world cup and take a look at some great footballing lookalikes...

Take a look and enjoy!

Fernando Torres and Bruno

Arsene Wenger and Basil Fawlty

Phil Brown and Hugh Laurie

Owen Hargreaves and Mark from Ugly Betty

Sven Goran Eriksson and Mr. Burns

 David Seaman and Earl from My Name is Earl

 Didier Drogba and Denise Lewis

Some of them are more uncanny than others... but leave me a comment on which one you like best!! 

Katee.

USA Hire Magician For Their Long Coach Trips...

As much as I want this to be true, it just isn't, but they have something close - Herculez Gomez.

Some football fans had been questioning why he had been called up to the squad - but we now know it was for sheer entertainment.

Come one and all to experience the magic Herculez Gomez below, with his glamorous assistant... Jozy Altidore??

Katee.

The 'Sometimes In Football You Have To Score Goals' World Cup Song Contest

My first post, it's an emotional time, but so is the World Cup.
As an unnaturally obsessive football fan, the build up to the World Cup is just as important as the actual World Cup, and the World Cup song is, to me, pretty much the pinnacle of the few months leading up to the AMAZING event.

So, seeing as Mr. Capello has decided to ban an official England world Cup 2010 Song, I want one to consider this years World Cup Song - and I want YOU to choose it.

I have shortlisted a list of 5 songs, and you can vote by choosing your favourite and voting on the poll in the sidebar.
Excited? You should be.
1. Three Lions 2010
By The Squad, featuring Robbie Williams and Russell Brand

2. Noble England

By Rik Mayall

3. Grab A Stella (Nelson Mandela)

By England United

4. When England Rule The World

By Chris Martini

5. Fabio

By The Competition

Which one should I adopt as my official England song? Vote in the sidebar to the right, (you have until the 8th of June), and feel free to leave a witty comment!

Katee.